MEET RENA

My name is Rena, and I am from the Idlib governorate in Syria. Back then, we had a house, but it was destroyed in the war. My husband worked in digging wells. But since the war started and our village was bombed, we fled the country. I had been married for two months only when we came to Lebanon. We have been living as refugees ever since, in a tent. We have a daughter, Samia, who is ten years old, and two sons, who are eight and six years old. Our life in Lebanon hasn’t been easy. Unfortunately, shortly after we arrived in Lebanon, my husband suffered a severe work injury in his eye. Because of it he cannot do most of the jobs he has previous experience in. He barely works and we have very limited income. Before, the rent was cheaper, landlords still had mercy. But now, we pay $60 a month for the tent, not even including electricity and water. Altogether, it amounts to about $100 a month, to which you have to add the children’s expenses.

The situation is tough on the children because they are forbidden to make any noise or we might be expelled. They’re not allowed to go and hang out outside the tent, or to raise their voices under any circumstances. The landowner has forbidden it. He screams at them or even hits them if they do. It is not a life for children. He also asks questions whenever we have a visitor, or he wants to know where we are headed anytime we go out. He also raises sheep just next to us. The smell is horrid. We can’t say anything because he would just tell us to leave if we’re not happy. But we simply have nowhere to go.

The war we went through earlier this year was terrifying for us all. Anytime we would hear the sounds of bombs, the children would scream and cry. We would do our best to comfort and reassure them, but a few times we were severely scared ourselves because some bombs hit extremely close to us, so close that the dust reached us. My sister and her family came to live with us during that time, because her area was hit even harder than ours.

I learnt about the center almost two years ago, through women from the community. They told me there was an evangelical education center for out-of-school children. My daughter Samia attending the center. It was much needed because she was struggling a lot at home. She feels like she doesn’t have a purpose, and she feels very lonely and stays by herself most of the time. Her personality started to change, but she still has ups and downs. Sometimes she says she wants to drop out. The coordinator of the school talked to Samia recently to see what can be done. She also started seeing the center’s counsellor. I have been following up on her more, and she seems to be doing better these days.

The most beautiful thing is that there is love and respect in the center, on top of good education and personal follow-up. It’s not just about finishing the lesson and leaving. If a child hasn’t understood the lesson, the teachers contact us and encourage us to follow up on their homework, to teach them too if we’re able, or help them understand the lesson. The same happens if they sense something is wrong and the child might be depressed. They follow up with parents and encourage us to talk with them, pay attention to them, and help them get better. It is because they genuinely care about the children and their wellbeing and success. It shows they love the children as if they were their own. I believe this love is definitely from God. I was so surprised, shocked even, by all the love, respect, and care I found here. This is why I want to enroll my son too next year.

Then I found out that there was another class for adult women, so gladly registered since I never had the chance to learn. This is when I met sister Hala. She is the best! She explains everything so well and clearly. If we are upset or angry, she gives us time and listens to us. She tells us about love and peace. Even with our neighbors, with our loved ones, with our families, even if someone upsets us. We ask God to forgive them and to not hurt one another. Hala is much more than a teacher. I consider her my sister.

It is my second year in the adult literacy classes, and I am now reading and writing quite well. I never dreamt I would get this chance to learn one day. I never learnt in Syria because that is how it was in our community and culture. The boys learn at school, but in our village in the countryside, girls usually don’t go to school, it is forbidden and very badly seen. Girls are just expected to work in the house, work the land, and get married when they reach the age to. Many women left school or dropped out of first grade because of harsh teachers. Some teachers were very violent and would beat the children in front of everyone.

My own brother was injured by a teacher in the ear. He hit him in the face and his ear started bleeding. He had to go to the doctor and stayed in shock for at least two weeks. It left me with a big trauma. At first, when I started the class, I was so scared to make mistakes that I would freeze when the teacher asked me something. But she encouraged me a lot and helped me understand I was allowed to make mistakes, and that I needed to try and practice to learn and get better. It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing to be afraid of.

Of course, I love reading and writing, and I am proud of myself. I wish I had studied more when I was younger. Maybe I wouldn’t be struggling so much today. Now I finally realize the value of studying and education. Even if it was just for my children’s sake, I wish I could support them more in their education, but for a long time I felt really helpless. Now it is getting better, but I still have much to learn and I need to persevere. At least I can explain to my children what I wished my parents taught me: that they should study well when they have the chance to, and use any opportunity to learn and practice what they learn. And also to never be shy to ask questions.

I was devastated when I first started the classes. I had no purpose in life. I knew that as a woman, my only role was to go home, cook, and clean. But when I got here, I started talking, giving my opinion, setting personal boundaries. I started to feel from inside that I have a goal and a purpose and I started having the motivation and courage to work toward it.

Today, I finally feel like myself again. I’m 40 years old, but I feel like I’m 20. I don’t want anything, only for my children to be safe and protected from illness. I wish we wouldn’t need help from other people to live a simple life and to provide what my children need. I want nothing more than this. I am very grateful to all the staff in the education center, for their hard work and loving heart with the children and with us women. We are truly blessed to have them in our life.